If you can find it, if your local bookshop is lucky or pretentious enough to carry it, please be on the lookout for the forthcoming Rubber Band Society Gazette, a broadsheet published by the Russian art team Komar and Melamid. The first issue featured such luminaries as Ian Frazier, Rick Moody, and Jamaica Kincaid; this second issue features a luminary whose name is: ME.
Strangely, my contribution to the RBS Gazette is a poem. I’m not a poet, you see. In this case, I managed to sidestep that roadblock by not actually writing the poem.
Months ago, when my arms were ineffective little flippers—it’s a long story—I wrote using voice-recognition. The software made writing possible, but it also got every fourth or fifth sentence crazily, infuriatingly wrong. I amused myself by collecting the mangled lines my software invented. It was that or smash the computer to bits, and the flipper-arms didn’t weren’t up for smashing. At one point I was trying to get the day’s date written, and the evil software kept coming up with crazier and crazier phrases that happened to rhyme. And I thought, hey, this looks like a poem! And I spent a few days arranging those lines with some other lines from the pages and pages of mangly bits, and then I sent them to my friend Emily, an editor at the RBS Gazette, and here we are today.
So: Find it, and read! You will be amazed and horrified. You will laugh, and then cry, and then throw up a little, and then giggle, and throw up again. A lot. How can you resist?