Thank you, but my son is onto all of your tricks. No, he doesn't eat new and different foods when he's with other children. No, he won't eat special foods for other relatives. No, he would never go for kebobs or dipping sauces or blind-taste tests or wacky food games; no, he won't try just one bite, no no NO. And yes, I'm also scared of Donna.

Fortunately I am hightailing it out of town for a long weekend, and leaving Scott with Henry. My family will forlornly eat mac and cheese every night, while I consume anything that's not mac and cheese. Tomorrow can't come fast enough.