Bidness.

First off, I'm in Time Out New York Kids this week, along with Mssrs. Laid Off Dad and Looky Daddy. The subject is children's birthday parties. The interviewer was gracious enough to use my more clever quotes, and not the expletive-filled tirades for which I am so well known. So there's that.

Also! My cat does not have (potentially) FeLV, but in fact FIV. (Possibly.) I know the difference, but the woman who was taking care of Izzy's mom did not. So there you go. Cat AIDS. I think this has a much better prognosis, even if she's positive. Live, kitty, LIVE!

Finally, here's a parenting tip for you: even though your four-and-a-half-year-old is deeply enamored with David Bowie's song stylings, you might want to skip past "Rebel Rebel," Because maybe you forgot that your child has ears and a brain, and you were listening to it in the car on the way to school, and then your kid walked into the classroom and called his teacher a "hot tramp."

Actually, you might just want to leave it on "Blue Jean." Which technically might be a clean song, but no one in this world could be unoffended by the line "jazzin' for Blue Jean," so never mind. Maybe he won't tease out the correct words in Ziggy Stardust? Okay, go with that one.