Morning chat with the voice in my head

Why so glum, Alice?

Social rejection. I am thinking about it.

What? But who could reject YOU? Impossible. Why, I’d wager--

Not ME, silly. (Me! As if!) My son.

Ah. Kids.

Yes. KIDS. My question is, how can I force them all to be kind to each other? Or at least mind-control all of the other kids so they don’t break my son’s heart? Is there a kit I can buy that'll help with that?


Or maybe I can make non-invitations to birthdays a federal offense. Or just birthdays, period. I think we’ve all had enough of birthdays being celebrated, don’t you? Just… enough. Can’t we be done with it for a while? It’s like, “Hey, celebrate me being born!” Big whoop. We’ve all been born. I don’t see why you get to brag about it and demand veneration and offerings.

Uh-huh. So. Why don’t you tell me what happened?

Oh, nothing. Just one of Henry’s closest friends rejecting him publicly, is all. Just humiliation and despair. Just his heart shattering into tiny tiny pieces.

You realize Henry is probably already over this, right? That they’ll probably be best friends again by the end of the day?

If I’m mad at the kid, shouldn’t I get to kick one of his parents? Surely there’s a law about that in the books.

And that would help…how?

I admit, I haven’t thought that part through.

I see. Well, I’m glad we had this little talk.

I still want to kick someone.

I know.

Including you.

I knew you were going to say that.