[Psst: Before we begin this little play, I wanted to tell you that I now have a weekly newsletter! Sign up here. That is all.]
Looking over list of tasks for the day, Alice hears a disembodied voice*.
?: Ha ha, you’re not going to accomplish any of it. Again.
Me: Who said that?
?: Good morning. I am The Nameless, Formless Dread!
Me: I need to cut down on my coffee.
Me: Huh. Did I eat something weird?
NFD: Hello. I am the Nameless, Formless Dread.
Me: Jesus—get off me! I’m trying to work.
NFD: I will help. That thing you’re doing is bad.
Me: How is this a help?
NFD: How about this? That thing you’re doing is very bad.
Me: Please unhook yourself from my abdomen.
NFD: But it’s so soft here. (whispers) Too soft.
After walking past group of neighbors who don’t seem to notice when Alice smiles hello
NFD: Nameless, Formless Dread, here! Ouch. That was awkward. Boy do they not like you.
Me: That’s ridiculous. Why would they dislike me?
NFD: (Shrugs) They have very good reasons that they’ve all agreed on but you’ll never know what those are.
When the phone rings
NFD: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH DON’T ANSWER IT HIDE HIDE THE NAMELESS FORMLESS DREAD SAYS HIDE
Me: What the hell?
NFD: Someone is dead! Or mad at you!
Me (looking at number): It’s a telemarketer.
NFD: Why don’t your friends call? Oh, because you’re… never mind.
And then later
Me: (closing laptop)
NFD: Hey there, Nameless/Formless Dread, blah blah, hello, are you getting up? Where are you going?
Me: I have a thing I’m supposed to go to.
NFD: No way. Do you know how many things could happen to you out there? And why are you wearing that? Look, I brought kettle corn!
Me: This kettle corn is stale.
NFD: That's an early warning sign of dementia, you know. Thinking, uh, things are stale. I haven't thought this through yet. But don't worry, I will.
NFD (clambering atop my head): Oh no, oh no! You forgot! YOU FORGOT!
Me: What? WHAT?
NFD: … I can’t remember. Huh. Well, at least now you have all night to figure it out.
*(Don't worry, not really.)