A dog and his first cone: sadder than you could possibly imagine

Charlie: Hey? Hey. Heeey?


Cone, #2


Me: Oh, dear. How shall I put this? You have a…

Charlie: [quiver quiver]

Me: …a butt situation. It's not fatal! It is, however, incredibly disgusting.

Charlie: I don't know what means 'fatal'! Sounds bad, hey. But why is this on me?

Me: The cone is there to protect you from yourself. You're not supposed to lick the… unspeakable area. It's infected. It's got to… to drain. [Heave.]

Charlie: I see. I can't tend to my belowthere. Tail droop.


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Me: I know. We have to wait a few days and then we might need to…
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Me: Never mind. You'll get used to this cone before you know it. Promise!

DAY 2


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Charlie: HEY. I was okey-dokey with the cone but what is this giant-cone bullcrap? I'm sorry for the bad language.

Me: You were still…getting to there. You're quite flexible, turns out. We needed a larger cone to keep you out of the region.


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Charlie: But look. Hey. HEY. No. I can't see and I keep getting stuck.


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like this…

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and then…

I think I'm…


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what…
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???

Me: I know. I'm sorry, honey. You're already deaf and mostly blind and the cat is out to get you.


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Izzy: HA HA HA HA. I can murder him now, right? Come on, he's no good to you. Plus I see the towels all over the place. He's leaking awful on your stuff. Let me swipe him. Let me SWIPE HIM TO SLEEP.

Me: Back off, cat.

Charlie: [quiver]

Izzy: HAHAHAHAAAA.