A plague is upon us.

There is sickness here in the Finslippy universe—the Child, who was slightly ill yesterday but bravely soldiering on despite his under-the-weatherness, awoke this morning with a fever of 104, blisters in his throat, speaking fluent Old Norse. The doctor quickly and easily diagnosed him with the dreaded Coxsackie virus. And so we returned to our dark hidey hole, to apply salves and poultices to Henry’s tender parts, and dream of healthier days.

I am addled with sleep deprivation. As evidence, I direct you now to thesaurus.com’s listing for “sickness.” Here are the synonyms:

"affection, affliction, ailment, backdoor trots, bug, complaint, condition, crud, disease, diseasedness, disorder, dose, flu, ill, ill health, illness, indisposition, infirmity, malady, nausea, queasiness, runs, syndrome, trots, unhealth, unhealthfulness, unwellness…"

The thing is, I was planning to observe, with great amusement, that “backdoor trots” is the fourth synonym they give, and why is it fourth, ha ha, but then I realized why. It’s alphabetical.

See, I was thinking it was in order of usage. Ahem. Cough, cough.

Anyone who has had more than three hours of sleep would probably have figured this out before they started to blog about it.

Still—“backdoor trots”! That’s funny!