No one wants to hear excuses, I know, but but but! My class started. And these students! It's all their fault. With their demands on my attention. Distracting me with their smarts and charms. I think I love them. I also loved my first group of students, of course. Oh, hell, I love all you people. A couple of you I merely like, but that could change at any moment.
So hey, hello! Who has the flu? Not us, suckers! What we do have is a raging case of hypochondria. So many of our friends and neighbors are succumbing, day after day, that every sneeze or cough or unusual fatigue has one of us moaning OH NO HERE IT COMES. Taking our (normal) temperatures. Running out to buy chicken-soup ingredients before the aches hit. Stocking up on cough drops. Etc. We're annoying, but fortunately we understand each other, and even more fortunately, we don't have the flu. (Yet.) (My legs feel funny.)
If you have it, or have had it, I am so terribly sorry. There is nothing worse. I've had the flu twice in my life. The first time, I tried going back to work after two weeks and fainted (fortunately while sitting) on the F train. I regained consciousness only to find myself face-down on the subway seat (gross). When I managed to sit up, two young women were giving me the "sick or drunk?" questioning look. I believe I saluted them. Did that answer your question, ladies?
The moral of the story here is, if you're sick, give yourself plenty of time before considering mass transportation. And once you're out there, maybe pin a note to yourself. A note that says "Not Drunk." That's the note I wear every day. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I'm not drunk right now, I swear. You'll have to take my word for it, since you can't see my pinned note.