Be good, for goodness' sake

(The following took place as we considered the three-foot-tall Santa standee my mom gave us, in revenge for not taking her festive goblets.)

Scott: I think we should put it in Henry's room all year. You know, since he's so scared of being alone.

Alice: It'll just confuse him now that the Christmas season is over. Which is why we should cloak it in a dark shroud. Then it'll be a comforting, anonymous presence, watching him from the shadows.

Scott: Or we could put it under his bed. So he always knows it's down there. Listening.

Alice: Can we rig something to knock at the underside of his bed at irregular intervals? So it's like he's reminding him, I'm under here, keeping you safe?

Scott: Or a motion-activated recording. "Ho, ho, I'm down here, and I'm watching you."

Alice: Make it a whisper, so it doesn't startle him while he's sleeping.