I messed up my neck. I don't know how. Stress, most likely. Our hectic modern stress-filled lives! I don't know how I've managed to keep my neck out of danger for so long.
I use my neck, I have discovered, most of the time. On any given day, I'm liable to tilt, bend, stretch, turn, roll, crane, you name it. But not this week! This week I am lurching around like Frankenstein and yelling whenever I forget and move the damn thing. When I do move the damn thing every neck and neck-related muscle seizes up and I contemplate death. A couple of times I blinked too hard and the pain was so intense that I had to freeze in place and let the tears come. Both times this happened in the middle of the sidewalk. I'm sure I looked like I was getting ready to be Raptured, or I was on drugs, or I just remembered that I was supposed to be in jail.
Today a guy walked by with his dog, a cute woofy thing, and the dog headed right for me to wag and accept my pets, and when I tilted my eyeballs 30 degrees downward my dumb neck followed suit so I emitted a weird bark-shout. WAAAAAIOOOUU, like I was terrified. Or unable to form human words. At the same time I was reaching out to pet the dog, but reaching out also hurt, so my arm froze there like I was warding him off and/or charging up to emit a laser beam from my palm. The guy was like, "I'm sorry! He's only being friendly!" I wanted to explain but he had already passed me, and since I couldn't turn my head or project my voice I would have to pivot my entire body and then toddle after him down the street and THAT, my friends, that would not have been less weird.
You know what else hurts? Typing.