Diagnosis: allergy!

"I'm looking at these eye drops--one of the side effects listed is 'taste perversion.'"

"So you'll be eating butternut squash soup, and you'll think, why does this taste like a stripper's boot?"

" That's exactly what will happen."

"Why does this sandwich taste like a ball gag?"

"You're not going to believe how offensive dinner will be tonight."

"'Honey, why does dinner taste like sex with a goat?'"