"When I read about the physical and emotional toll parents with disabled children face, I want to delete this whole post, and write about something I’m actually qualified to address, like kitty cats."
Wonderland entry, above.
"Of all the questions we twin parents get, nothing drives me crazier than the "natural" question. The fact that people feel they can so casually inquire to a stranger's personal life and health issues just completely baffles me. Do these people go up to bald people and ask, "So, cancer?"
Here are a few of my favorite answers to "Are they natural?" Feel free to pick and choose, depending on the situation.
1. No, they're unnatural.
2. No, they're synthetic.
3. (In a low whisper:) Clones.
4. No, they're pretend.
5. No, they're made of cobbled together body parts I bought on eBay.
6. More than you.
7. No, sir! What you are looking at is the next level of human baby. I'm telling you, they are state of the art. Titanium skeleton. Pentium III processor. And the outside? 100% NuSkin. Grown in a lab in Weehawken, New Jersey. Looks real, doesn't it? Cost a pretty penny, I don't mind saying, but worth it. Sure, we could have gone with the vinyl skin, but I think those just look tacky, plus they heat up like the dickens in the summer. Do you want to feel it? No? Okay, but do this: Lean in close, you can hear them hum. It's low, but you can hear it. Go ahead. No? Alright. Well, next time, maybe. Anyway, if you want to know more, the manufacturer of these bad boys has a website. It's www.youarearudesonofabitch.com. Check it out when you get a chance."
See? You can't.