I'm at a loss for a clever title.

Arriving this morning, all pink and wrinkly: baby girl Tallulah, daughter of best friends Scott and Sarah. I have not seen little T. in person yet, but the cell-phone photo was enough to melt my heart and make me want another one. (Baby, that is, not heart.) Of course, then I remembered what those first few months are like. Shudder. But then, see, I remembered the good parts. Aw, babies. Wait, bad parts returning. Gack! And...back to the goodness. (I don't remember this, though.)

Anyway, luckily for them, technology has come to the rescue: no more trying to figure out why in hell little Tallulah is crying: this contrivance will up and tell you! I imagine it intoning in a creepy, detached voice, "Mother and/or Father: I hunger. Sustenance. Sustenance." I like the features--the splash-proof cover, for when Baby feels the need to douse it with one of her many varieties of fluid; the non-toxicity of it, because you get a toxic baby-cry-analyzer, and look what happens then.

Welcome to the world, little Lula.