It takes him longer to catch up, before he's had his morning coffee.

"Charlie has no water in his water bowl."

"Dogs don't need water to live."

"No, they need beer, is that what you think, Scott? You would probably give him beer."


"Hey, you know what I think? I think we should make a special kind of dog beer. Think about it! Dog beer! So you'd never have to drink alone!"

"Why not just give them regular beer?"

"You'd want to make a special kind, with a lower alcohol content, so your dog would only be loveably tipsy."

"But what if your dog drank too much of it? He'd still get drunk."

"No, it would be a magical beer that keep him only mildly buzzed."

"How is that possible? How do you keep blood alcohol at one level like that?"

"I'm really glad you're arguing these points with me, because I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS."

"Look, I'm just trying to help you, here. You're a better writer than you are a beer maker, all right? DO NOT MAKE DOG BEER."