Dear Four and a half,
You’re amazing. Never leave.
Aww, sweet thing. Four and a half’s gonna be here for a good long while. Shh, now, don’t fret. Four and a half’s gonna tell you how beautiful you are. Gonna stroke your hair, now. Four and a half can’t stop looking at you, is all. Remember how Four would slap you upside the head and not care what you thought? Four and a half might do that, too, but it’s by accident, see, and then he’s going to kiss you all over that head of yours and make sure you know it weren’t meant to hurt.
Hey, can Four and a half have that cookie? That one you thought Four and a half wouldn’t notice, all wrapped up in the pantry? No, you say? That’s cool. See? Four and a half wants you to know he can wait—he’s got all the time in the world. Or maybe that cookie isn’t for him and never will be. No matter. Some other cookie will come by, some other time. And when that time comes, Four and a half will be there. For that cookie.
Sweet, sweet love,
Four and a half
Dear four and a half,
Speechless, aren’t you? I know. I know it all. Hey, want me to hold that door open for you? I knew you’d like that. Ain’t nothing I don’t know. Like spelling, baby. Like, you know what letter “word” starts with? Wuh..wuh… that’s a double-you. So it starts with “D.” D starts double-you. See, baby? Try to correct four and a half on that one, and your head will spin. Just smile, baby. Four and a half’s got it all figured out.
Four and a half’s going to draw you a picture of Obi-Wan Kenobi, now. Only instead of a light saber, Obi-Wan’s gonna have a flower in his hand. For his beautiful mommy. Oh, Four and a half is so gonna get that cookie.
Four and a half