Yeah, whatever, so I haven't been here all week. Pfft, like I even care.
Okay, I DO care. Shut up. I can't even pretend with you guys. Getting back to work, and school, and HOMEWORK (growl smash rage), and other obligations that have forced me to get dressed and/or become more or less clean, has taxed my already-challenged brainsicle. But I've almost got this thing figured out! I'm dressed now and EVERYTHING. And it's four o'clock oh shit I was supposed to pick up Henry an hour ago.
Ha ha! He's at a playdate. I mean, I think. No one from the school or the department of child-maintenance or wherever has called me yet, so I assume everything's copasetic.
But look, there are three posts over at Redbook from me this week! I recommend that you read them. Thank you. I love you. Your hair smells like sunshine.
1. In which I write an angry letter to homework. And Homework writes back.
"I know that I can be a challenge! Did you know that the Lenape Indians faced hardships, too? Find 23 things in your home that remind you of the many challenges the Lenape Indians faced, then create physical representations of your feelings using the corn husks you gathered during your dinner which I hope included corn! Show your work!"
2. When your mom's a hoarder. For most of her life, Jessie Sholl hid a secret from almost everyone she knew: her mom is a compulsive hoarder. Her memoir, Dirty Secret, is about growing up with a mentally ill parent, and what it's like as an adult child of someone so troubled and erratic. It's a great book, and I'm not only saying that because Jessie is one of my favorite people in the universe.
3. Plastic surgery: would you consider it? In this post I sing the praises of Tina Rowley--hilarious blogger and noted Twitter personality--who, after the birth of her second child, beheld changes in her body of which she Did Not Approve. So she had a surgeon fix 'em. Because fuck it. As Tina would (and did, quite frequently!) say. Fuck it! I like the way she thinks.