Of course in reality we are grateful for our health

I was talking with my friend Abby, who had just suffered through several sick-kid-induced sleepless nights, and was losing her mind a little bit.

Abby: I need a break. I need a good reason to lie down for a few days.

Me: I know. When Henry was sick last week and sneezed in my face, part of me got a little excited. Because then I'd be really sick, and I'd have to take to my bed.

Abby: I totally get that, except I dream about getting in an accident.

Me: Excuse me?

Abby: Not a bad one, of course. Just getting banged up enough that I have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. For observation. Of course the kids wouldn't be in the car, just me. I don't want anyone else getting hurt.

Me: This is sad, Abby. Why couldn't you just get sick?

Abby: It wouldn't work. I have three kids, they'd still need me all the time. Then I'd be sick and in charge.

Me: No, but in my fantasies I'd be so sick that Scott would have to take over. I'd be too feverish to be left alone.

Abby: Nope. They'd still get at me. Even if Nate were home. There's always one who'll sneak away and demand something from me.

Me: That's a good point.

Abby: That's the advantage of the only child. You get to just have the flu. I need a car accident.

Me: Oh dear.

Abby: I NEED IT.