Operation Slim Cat, Month 2

Yesterday, a reader emailed to ask if my blog was becoming a blog about medications and health problems.

Of course not! It's becoming a blog about medications, health problems, and my overweight cat.

Fatso

Hiya.

Two months ago (exactly! What do you know! I didn't even plan that) I wrote about our cat Izzy, who is large. Henry calls her "plush," which I think makes her sound … cleaner than she is. More luxurious. It's not easy for a cat to be clean when she can't reach all of her areas to clean them. And let me tell you, she does not want me cleaning her. Oh, I do it anyway, under severe protest. Both of us have been injured, either physically or emotionally, by my frequent attempts at brushing/wiping/rinsing. Our relationship has suffered.

I put her on a diet, as I mentioned. I read a bunch, and I guess you're supposed to not feed your cat unlimited amount of dry food all the time? Huh! Hargh! Oops! I switched her from dry carb-loaded crap to high-quality wet food. Half a can in the morning, half a can in the evening, with a tiny smidge of dry food available as a mid-day snack.

This is a LOT LESS FOOD than I was giving her before. And it's paid off! Wait until you see the dramatic results!

Here was Izzy before:

big boned

And here she is now. BEHOLD!

big boned

In other words, she looks exactly the same. But IN FACT she is now a svelte NINETEEN pounds instead of the TWENTY she was two months ago, and according to the veterinary health professionals, she is supposed to lose no more than a half pound a month, so we are RIGHT ON SCHEDULE. And I am using many CAPITAL LETTERS to express my ENTHUSIASM.

It might take a while, but someday she'll be able to clean her own butt! Which means that I'll be wiping exactly zero butts in my household! And that's on my Life List!

Izzy is an enthusiastic fan of the wet cat food, but she gobbles it right up and then spends the rest of the day demanding more. She is unappeased by the mid-day kibble snack. She has tasted the wonders of damp lamb-chunks, and she no longer wants any part of dry food. So for most of the day, here is where she can be found, sitting just like this, glaring at me:

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Oh, we had to put her food up high, because Charlie will inhale it the minute we turn our backs. And, of course, because the food is wet, we can't hear him munching away. One slurp and it's done. (Until he throws it back up. So charming! Pets are so charming!)

And yes, she sits with her front legs splayed out, like this. I have no idea why. She has always done so. She continues to sit like this while I snap pictures of her, like she's not embarrassed at all.

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Cats have no shame. They could use a little shame. Shame might give her the nudge she needs to, I don't know, cover her poop in the litter box. Or not glare at me while I clean her terrible haunches.

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I truly hope that once she gets into a more reasonable cat-form, I'll like her a little more. I mean, I don't HATE her, but I'm having a hard time remembering what was so lovable about her. In addition to being kind of filthy and grumpy, she harasses Charlie on a daily basis. And Charlie is a senior citizen. He deserves some peace and quiet in his dotage. Come ON:

I woke up Charlie

How could you bat your Evil Paws of Doom at this face, Izzy? HOW?