Topics I am considering writing about, or further proof that I am not as bright as I'd like to believe

-the time I walked into a steam room holding a handful of Hershey's Kisses

-as an awkward and (needless to say) extremely white junior-high school student with a mouthful of braces, chose to perform a monologue spoken by "Mama" in "Raisin in the Sun"

-the time I sprayed red-pepper spray at a menacing stranger but lost my nerve and aimed for his ankles

-when I fully believed my summer-camp friend who told me she could get Paul McCartney and Wings and ELO to attend my Billy Joel musical


-the day I hit myself repeatedly in the foot with a hammer, for what I believed was medical reasons

-when I broke my tailbone because I slipped holding a cocktail and I didn't put my arms down because then I'd spill my drink


-when I (after a few drinks) told Gloria Steinem I loved her and her "whole feminist thing"

-a trillion even more idiotic things I have done while drunk, sleepy, panicked, or all three

If any of these sound especially intriguing to you, let me know, and I'll see what I can put together, for your amusement.