We are so back!

Winners! That's you. You are all winners, in mine eyes.

Nonetheless, I do in fact have five winners for the A GOOD HARD LOOK giveaway. I will announce them when they are CONFIRMED as actual live human beings and not spambot MILF-hunters. (Curse you, spambot MILF-hunters! Stop sending me filthy Twitter spam and then adding insult to injury by trying to win free books from me!)

I am pleased to inform you that my family and I traveled to California and back--and lived. Miracle of miracles! The planes remained aloft! The pilots did not forget their years of training! I lived yet another day without spontaneously combusting! Will wonders never cease?

(Did anyone else read The Book of Lists when they were little? I skated right over the dirty parts in that book so I could preoccupy myself with tales of spontaneous combustion. It seemed not only possible, to me, but likely. Of course I would burst into flames for no reason. Of course my mom would come to wake me for school and find a pile of ashes lying in a me-shape in my otherwise pristine, unburned bed. It would just figure.)

I went to BlogHer for precisely 22 hours (I counted!) and then Rebecca whisked me away for dinner with Bethany, who I've only wanted to meet for forever. It was a lovely ending to a crazy but awfully fun day, during which Eden and I signed countless books and I somehow managed to not see countless people I went  there specifically to see. BlogHer is getting a little... big, for me. Not bad. Just big. SO BIG. I was overwhelmed. After dinner, and once we found Rebecca's car (it took a while) (she's pregnant, you guys! With twins! She's THREE PEOPLE!), she kindly drove me north to Carlsbad, where I met Scott and Henry at Legoland.

Oh, Legoland. What can I say about this "Legoland"? If you were to ask Henry what his dream vacation would be, he could not have devised a more perfect place than this. An entire park dedicated to the thing he loves more than food and sleep and also us? He'd probably leave out the mean parents who curbed his spendthrift impulses, which kicked in every time he saw a gift shop, oh and p.s. there's a gift shop every few feet. Despite his frustrations with us and our damned sense, he had so much fun.

Of course, if you asked me what my dream vacation would be, it would not at all resemble Legoland. Nonetheless, Henry's utter glee was contagious, and the experience was entertaining enough for two days. (I don't know how you could do Legoland for more than two days.) My main stressor during those two days was sun protection, and whether or not we had applied enough so that we wouldn't be destroyed by the awful yellow orb in the sky but not so much that we resembled zombies. There seems to be no way to achieve this happy medium, by the way. Lord knows I tried. Also, is there a wide-brimmed hat that does not look completely dorky? Answer: no. Don't even bother answering that one for me.

We returned at 2 a.m., Tuesday morning, and I have still not recovered. I am a delicate flower. Dim the lights on your way out, would you? Be a dear.