Everything is fine!
The last couple of days have been a thrill ride of miscommunication. First I was told that the report came back benign; then I was told actually there were two reports, and one of them wasn't in yet. THEN I was told that the second report was in but the physician on staff hadn't signed off on them yet, so they couldn't be sent over. AND THEN they were like, oh, that second report never existed. The final straw was when my GP told me that the radiologist claimed they never did a needle core biopsy. That was approximately when I lost my damn mind.
I finally got the radiologist on the phone this afternoon (having--finally, after several attempts--gotten around She Who Will Not be Named) and he confirmed that the GP was mistaken, and explained everything in the report. Then I got to tell him all about his receptionist. It was awfully satisfying.
The important part is: all is well, everything they sampled was benign, and my breasts were described on the report as "like two fawns that graze among the lilies." Which is nice and all, and startlingly accurate, but is that like a medical term or something?